Word from the Street: Consoles suck.

I just left a Gamestop after spending twenty minutes scanning the shelves for decent console games and came up empty-handed. The closest I could find was Tekken 6, and that was a stretch.

For some reason I really want to get a console. I don't count my Wii for reasons I've gone into in earlier posts.

I justify this by telling myself that at some point in the reasonably near future I'm going to buy an HD television and will need--I use the term rather loosely--a Blu-Ray player. Since consoles are now both Blu-Ray players AND consoles, it makes clear financial sense to buy one.

This is pretty typical of my decision making process and explains several questionable choices I've made with my life.

Nevertheless, I want one. Or, more accurately, I want to want one. And I'm trying, but I just can't come to any other conclusion than that consoles are a waste of money.

Here's my reasoning. Let's say for the sake of argument that I own an HD tv and intend to purchase Blu-Ray discs. Let's also say that the cost of either console is about $350, since both are in that neighborhood for the middle-of-the-road packages.

My options would be to hook a PC to the tv and play games (and watch movies) that way, or to buy a console. I already own a PC that I use for games. For $350, I could pick up more memory and/or a better video card. In order for a console to be worth it, it would have to offer games that I either could not play on PC or could not play as well on PC.

As it stands, there is Tekken 6, any potential Gran Turismo game that might be released, and that's about it. Maybe Red Dead Redemption, but, like most big releases these days, it'll probably be on both consoles and PC.

Games that are coming out to consoles are either better and cheaper on PC, or not worth the bother. Personal opinion, of course, but if you've got a PC you know I'm right.

And don't even get me started on the goddamned Wii...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Review: Torchlight

I'm late for work, and you might be too. If that's the case, I'll make this quick. Buy Torchlight. It's cheap and fun. It's a fantastic time-sink, and I say that in the most complimentary way I can.



Now, if you've got a little more time to spare…

Torchlight comes to us from Runic Games, which includes some of Diablo's and Diablo II's designers. That's fairly evident from the get-go. At its core, Torchlight is a cartoonish Diablo II clone, although that risks glossing over some of Torchlight's more entertaining and well-crafted aspects.

Like Diablo and its ilk, Torchlight can be summed up thusly: the player creates a character from one of three classes (magic, ranged, melee) and proceeds to click their way through randomized dungeons, gaining experience and randomly generated loot, until they reach the end of the plot. All you do as the player is pick which talents to put points in as you level, choose or sell gear, and click on monsters until they die.

It's surprisingly addictive.

While Torchlight only gives you three classes, each class has three talent trees (to borrow a phrase from another time-sink…) which offer a decent range of variety. You can make a sword-and-board paladin, if that's what blows your skirts up, he'll just be called a Destroyer—the game's name for the fighter character.

There's a plot, but let's be honest; the game is about clicking on monsters and picking things up until you've got the best, coolest-looking gear you possibly can. If that gets old, you can always do the fishing minigame at any of the fishing holes in town or in the various dungeons. There are rare catches, such as items, but the main purpose of fishing is catching food for your pet.

The pet mechanic is easily the coolest thing about this game. Keeping the goal of stomping monsters in the fore, the pet acts as tank, DPS, and/or caster (yes, you can teach your cat to summon zombies), holds excess inventory, and—get ready—can be sent back to town to automatically sell off the gear from wherever you are and return with the money. That's right, no more trudging back in the middle of a dungeon crawl to sell fourteen pairs of old shoes, no choosing between items because you can't carry that stack of healing potions AND the Axe of Ultimate Destruction!

That's just one indication of the focus in this game. Clearly, Runic intended this to be a simple, fun, addictive dungeon-crawler, and they've succeeded admirably.

Buy or Don't Buy: Buy, easily. It's about $20, and makes up for a lack of multiplayer with a robust modding community and literally endless random dungeons. It's not a life-changing epic, but it is the kind of fun you can have in five minutes or two hours without sacrificing attention, brain power, or personal relationships. Runic also plans an MMO based on the game, which may or may not incorporate the single-player version.

BlackBerry Fiction: The Project

Investigate NovaMundi.

I don't know how many of these I can send before someone catches on, so if this is the only email I can send, I've got to be blunt and you'll have to trust me.

Please, as crazy as this sounds, as crazy as it will sound, please trust me. If nothing else, just send some cops or someone to investigate the NovaMundi project at the Innsport City Hall. If I'm crazy and there's nothing to find, no harm no foul, right?

Here's the crazy part: NovaMundi is not here to install a new data center. I should know, I'm a subcontractor onsite. IT security team.

I don't know what they're really doing, not yet, but I know that the guy who had my job is dead now. And there's something going on beneath the building, beneath the city, that isn't right. That's not the right word. Not natural. Not good? I can't describe it, but the tunnels under these buildings go deeper than they should, and they take you places that no human should ever be able to go...

Just blow the place to hell, for chrissakes! Please, send someone. Lots of people, too many for them to get rid of.

I'll send as many of these out as I can. I found some emails the previous guy sent out. He was on to something before they found out. I'll send those, too.

I want you to tell my mom and dad that I love them, but I can't put their address down. If I don't send anything else, take an ad out in the Baltimore Sun that says, "Mike junior remembers meeting Donald Duck in Disney World, and he loves his mom and dad. Benny's chewtoy is in the upstairs closet."

They'll know, they always read the classifieds.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry